funny response to are you still alive

2. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. 2. Because youre highly qualified. Voice command: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock. 6. Reply. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. 14. If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. He sold it to me on his deathbed. *sips wine/tea*. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. You were a young man when you last spoke. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. You just have bad luck at thinking. A little bit worse now that youve asked. 92. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. I favour the "How am I what?" What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? This one is a bit long. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Financially? I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. I dont know. 71. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. 10. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Well, are you? Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? This one is funny when you havent said anything. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. To contact our editors please use our contact form. 32. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. Oh, well 8. Holy s**t, you can see me?! Physically? I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? I just woke up like that one day. "Yeah, you're three years late. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. Is it your job to spread ignorance? People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Because they are already taking their time. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. 5. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. No, waitIm actually plural. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. Try these OOO messages to let people know you're taking a break. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. I havent met the right one yet. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. Your hair looks great! If I had a tail, I would wag it! "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? 62. Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). 101. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. "See, I will finally make you smile.". The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! 3. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. In fact, theyre taking too much of it. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. Going strong. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." He was a good OP, of impeccable character. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? So much better than most people. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. 4. Funny as phuck. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. 14. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. It could always have been worse. Call the police." 13 Quora User Better inside than outside. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. 36. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. 11. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. How impressive! Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . Not Bad. "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. Dear family and friends of Arthur Dayn, As we enter into an unprecedented dark age with the invisible enemy known as COVID-19, the life of our dear friend Arthur Dayn ends. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Are you Jamaican? It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. It's impossible for things to be perfect. 60. We cant always get what we want now, can we? The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! 22. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Take Your Time. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? 84. 63. 4. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. He will be missed. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. I'm used to it, anyway. Thats why Im single. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. Is that a scar on your face? Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. Dont wake me up yet. 88. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. Best "How Are You?" Answers. Maybe their roommate was sick. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? 3. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. "You know I can do this anytime.". By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. I'm fine. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. 30. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. Socioeconomically? Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. Learn more about us here. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. The best I can be. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. 1. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. 31. Impressive! The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." I love you. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! Click here for additional information. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. How do you think that I am doing? How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? Whats with all these questions? 95. If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. You might just find one. Heart-shattering. 100. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? What? Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. 13. Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. 16. Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science! I'm alive! Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. Mentally? Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. Im not single. In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. It must have been a long, lonely journey. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. Chuck Bass? Because Im awkward and ugly. This one is bound to get a laugh. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. Could have been worse, right. Are those space pants? (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. 10. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. 4. It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! Im always there when I need me. - Anonymous. Dont let your mind wander. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. 76. This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. "Alright. I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. Getting better with every passing second. At least my hair looks amazing. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. You have an old soul. Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. 7. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. (Explained). Oh, stop it, will you? They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. All rights reserved. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". Thats because Im still waiting for you. Keep calm and be awesome. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? Cookie Notice 15. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. 1. But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. WHY!? Alexa's response: No, that's not true. 57. 2. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. Living the dream! I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? 10. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. 8. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. Scroll down! Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks: As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. For more information, please see our Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. Physically? 70. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. 2. For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. I like being single. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. 1. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. 90. I was actually talking to my friend". I always root for the little guy. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. No one loves superheroes. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. It's quite the accomplishment. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. 14. 42. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. Youre not as bad as everyone says. funny response to are you still alive. I'm afraid I can't do that. Liked what you just read? Is my relationship status a joke to you?! 41. I always yawn when Im interested. Siri, why am I still single? Im too expensive. Perhaps you are just such an exciting person. Financially? I agree, thanks for sharing. 43. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. No, they're prison pants. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). . Someone took their costume way too seriously. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". 24. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! So, how does average sound? I dont feel that great, but look! 81. Hanging on. Not bad. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Then the worms eat you. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. 12. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! Im jealous of people who dont know you. Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! I used to think you were a pain in the neck. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. A real low-life. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. original sound - Tyren Sams. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. 13. You're the reason God created the middle finger. 20. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. 18. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. "Hey You, I'm really good. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. 48. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. 37. Is everything stable at your end? Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." Maybe I am a kindergartner? Im single by choice. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! Thats because my crush is a fictional character.

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